Lord of the Rings plus a Nuisance or two
by La Dark
Summary: There are 2 extra elves that have more than ordinary elf powers join The quest to Destroy the one ring. Abandoned


Chapter 1  
In this role-play Elf do have a sex drive and it doesn't always go by the  
books or movies.  
A lone figure was in the main hall of Rivendell wondering what she'd done  
to deserve what she had just gotten, a job as a messenger. She was a  
princess for Christ's sake! She's Arwen's cousin, and rightful heir to  
the throne of Lothlorien. Even if she actually was living at Rivendell at  
the moment. To go from Rivendell, her home, to Mirkwood a place, as far  
as she is concerned, is dark, full of spiders and unfriendly, and ugly  
Elves that live in a stone palace. Elrond passed by;  
"Come on, Alqua-mir; don't take all day to leave!"  
Sheesh! Anyone would think he wanted her to go to a forest full of manic  
spiders and Elves.  
"Your lembas for the journey, bow and arrows, knives, and your horse, Mal-  
gil, is ready for you to leave when you want."  
"Which would be never"  
"You're going now and you will go alone."  
"Do I have to?" She whined.  
"Yes, you do" said Elrond coldly; he hated it when she started whining.  
"Fine!" Alqua-mir said and stormed out her waist length blueberry  
coloured hair flowing out behind her. She wouldn't stay angry for long;  
she couldn't if she wanted to continue living at Rivendell. Alqua-mir had  
a strange power, even for an Elf. She could control the weather. When  
she was angry, it would be stormy, when she was sad and depressed it  
would rain. When she was happy it would be sunny, but she didn't have to  
be angry or happy to control the weather, she could just concentrate and  
she could make it snow or rain.  
She could also read minds, see your intentions, and speak to Elves, Men,  
Halflings Dwarves and other living creatures in their heads, a trait she  
had learned from Galadriel. Which sometimes annoyed people. But she  
couldn't read all their thoughts; some were stored away, so that she  
couldn't read them.  
*********************************************  
"Mi-lady, is there something wrong?" asked the Elf holding her horse, a  
fiery, young chocolate brown coloured horse, which would bolt at any  
chance just because it could, just because it could. It didn't really  
want to run away. It just liked to run.  
"No, not really." She sighed.  
"Do you want your armour Mi-lady?"  
"No we will travel faster without it. But thank you."  
With that she mounted, gave a wave to Anna-Arien, Arwen, Elladan and  
Elrohir and rode out through the gates. The route she was meant to  
follow, that Elrond gave her, was to find a path through the misty  
mountains, cross the Great River of the Wilderland at the Old ford,  
follow the Old Forest Road to the River Running, then follow the River  
Running to the edge of Mirkwood then skirt around the edge of Mirkwood  
then follow the Forest river up to the Elven kings halls. Sounds easy but  
it would take ages to go that distance even on horse back. So Alqua-mir  
decided she would just cut strait through the middle of Mirkwood to save  
time.  
  
Chapter 2  
She had gotten through the Misty Mountains with only a few scratches and  
a lucky escape from the goblins who still lived in those parts.  
Unfortunately, she had lost all of her food to the Depths of the Canyons  
when the goblins had chased them. So now she was half starved and had  
arrived at the ford by being taken there by Mal-gil and would have other  
wise never had gotten there. As she rode into the ford the water rose to  
meet her. When she was safely across her horse stumbled off into the  
Mirkwood. After about 2 minutes of walking through Mirkwood Alqua-mir  
passed out to hunger. Mal-gil, who had also been deprived of food lasted  
little longer than his rider and soon also fainted.  
*************************************************  
An Elf who had been sent to kill the spider in the throne room and get  
rid of the thing for good, was wandering around Mirkwood having already  
killed the spider.  
'What in Mandos is that?'  
He thought as he cautiously approached the thing on the ground. As he  
crept closer he could see it was a fellow Elf and her horse.  
'Oh, Elbereth. A fellow Elf and a really cute one at that, how come I've  
never seen her before? No-one in Mirkwood has this coloured hair'  
He was thinking this as he ran to Alqua-mir's side and saw she had  
fainted. There was a shuffling noise as a fox emerged from the bushes.  
But The Elf did not shoot the fox,  
"Thank you, Cul-gil. Excellent timing. Can you get Kum-flit?"  
As Cul-gil left the Elf turned back to Alqua-mir. She was so pretty, he  
moved her head onto his lap and stroked her hair. Alqua-mir stirred and  
opened one eye  
"Where am I? Is Mal-gil alright? Who are you?"  
"It's okay, calm down. You are in Mirkwood, Your horse is fine and I am  
Legolas Greenleaf, of the woodland realm. Who are you and where did you  
come from?"  
Legolas said this while looking carefully at her. Her sapphire blue eyes  
were gorgeous and she was by far the prettiest Elf he had ever seen.  
"I am Alqua-mir, Arwen's cousin and Daughter of Celebrian Daughter of  
Celeborn."  
An Elf stepped out into the clearing with Cul-gil and interrupted their  
little conversation.  
"My lord, I have come at your bidding what do you want me to do?"  
"I want you to help me, get Mal-gil back to the palace while I help Alqua-  
mir back to the palace."  
"Yes my lord, Mi-lady."  
When Alqua-mir went to get up she was immediately overwhelmed by  
dizziness and fell back to the ground.  
"Here. This will help."  
Said Legolas and handed her a cake of lembas. Al's heart skipped a beat  
as their hands brushed. Legolas was the cutest damn Elf she had ever  
seen. She would never call Mirkwood Elf ugly or stupid ever again  
"Thanks" Al said, munching on the lembas. When she had finished she felt  
much stronger.  
"Come, mi-lady."  
  
Chapter 3  
"So how come you are in Mirkwood?" Legolas questioned Al.  
"I came to give the ruler of Mirkwood a message from Elrond that was  
passed to him by Mithrandir."  
"And that message..."  
"Sorry, can't tell you. Orders from Elrond. Only the king and the Elf he  
sends may know...and me."  
Al said as an after thought.  
"And not me" said Legolas feeling hurt.  
"I'd love to tell you but...Oh what the Mandos. I'll tell you anyway. Just  
don't let any one know, okay?"  
"Yeah, Fine"  
"Right well the message is that the one ring has been found. It's in the  
Shire and a hobbit is going to bring it to Rivendell and there the Elf,  
Men, Mithrandir, and ...Dwarves."  
She said this with distaste.  
"Elrond is going to hold a counsel and we will decide what to do with the  
ring. As I speak many other messengers are on there way to the Lonely  
Mountain, Gondor, and Rohan and I got sent here."  
As Al said this they approached the king's gate. When the guards saw  
Legolas they said  
"Hail, Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood!"  
They said this as they opened the gate and Legolas and Alqua-mir walked  
through. They went straight up to the Kings quarters and came before the  
King.  
"Hail, King of Mirkwood. My name is Alqua-mir, Daughter of Celebrian and  
messenger from Elrond"  
Alqua re-laid her message to the king and waited outside while Legolas  
talked to his father about something. He came out looking very pleased  
about something.  
"And tell Alqua-mir about it yourself!"  
Thranduil yelled after Legolas as he left the Throne room.  
"Tell me what?" said Al,  
"You'll find out" Answered Legolas in a maddening tone.  
"Come on, I told you that message that Elrond is probably going to fry me  
for telling you about."  
"Fine, I'll tell you. I'm the Elf that my father is sending for the  
counsel"  
"Really! That is soo cool! Are you coming back with me?"  
"Yeah, I think so."  
"Well I have to leave soon, so please be ready to leave either tonight or  
tomorrow if you're coming with me."  
"Okay."  
"Good, good, I'm gonna go for a walk and check on Mal-gil later."  
Legolas sighed as he watched Al walk off into the trees. He had sort of  
hoped that she would want him to show her around the palace or at least  
walk with her. Maybe she just wanted to be alone, or maybe she didn't  
even like him. It's all very complicated.  
  
Chapter 4  
Meanwhile as Al was walking through the woods she was thinking of  
Legolas, how cute he was, whether he was a good with the bow and arrow,  
how wonderful it would be to be to ride back to Rivendell with him, what  
they would do at the counsel etc. She was walking in the general  
direction a clearing in Mirkwood, Where the horses were usually around.  
Mal-gil heard her coming and ran up to her.  
"So you're all better too, huh."  
He snorted in response.  
"Thanks!"  
********************************************************************Later  
that night after Al had had a bath, washed her hair, and changed into a  
clean dress, a velvet blood red with silver and gold embroidery.  
According to Legolas she looked absolutely gorgeous, but he wasn't about  
to tell anyone that. He was really happy that Al got seated next to him  
though.  
"Hey, Legolas, I'm leaving tomorrow at about 10:00 in the morning, if you  
are gonna come with me, meet me at the Kings Gate at ten, Okay?"  
"Yep, and of course I'm coming with you. You make it seem like you don't  
want me to go with you."  
"No, I want you to come with me, but my path through the mountains is a  
bit erratic, shorter but erratic."  
"I don't care if it's erratic, I'm still coming and this time there's  
gonna be two of us so it will be easier, I hope."  
********************************************************************  
*Back in Rivendell*  
"Dudett! Dude, she's back!"  
"Dude, who's back?!"  
"Dudett's back!"  
"Oh right, Witch Queens Cousin."  
"Hi dudes"  
Legolas groaned.  
"You do that 'dude' thing too?"  
"Oh, sorry don't you like it?"  
"not really"  
"I'll stop."  
"Dudett! Why are you stoping the 'dude' thing?!"  
"'cause Legolas dudn't like it."  
"Oh, dude."  
"The hobbits are here already, I think you'd like to go and hear about  
their adventure and The Dunedan is here to and want's to talk to you."  
"Okay, I'm going, see ya, dudes"  
As the twins watched Legolas and Al walk off together Elladan said  
downheartedly to Elrohir;  
"Dude, I think she doesn't like us."  
"Yeah, I think we're out of luck."  
********************************************************************  
*With Aragorn *  
"You wanted to talk to me?"  
"Yes, I did."  
"Yesss..."  
'Yes what?"  
"Yes, what are you gonna say?"  
"Oh. I wanted to ask you if you were coming to the counsel."  
"Even if I said I was, you would invent some way to keep me out, which I  
would evade again like, usual."  
"I just wanted to know."  
"Fine, yes I'm coming."  
"Good, and I think you should talk to Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin, they  
have an interesting story."  
"Okay, I'll go now. Anything else?"  
"No."  
"Okay. see ya."  
  
Chapter 5  
*Later with the hobbits*  
"Hi little dudes."  
"Why does everyone call us Little dudes?!" complained Pippin  
"Sorry. what about Midgets instead?"  
"No, not midgets instead."  
"Damn. Anyway Aragorn tells me that you've had a lot of fun for the past  
few days... ahem weeks."  
"I wouldn't call it fun, getting stabbed with evil knives. Trapped in  
trees, stuck in barrow wrights, lost, have evil black things follow us,  
Getting the fright of our lives when we met Strider..."  
"Who's Strider?" Al said interrupting Frodo little speal.  
"You know, Strider." Said Sam.  
"Dude with shoulder length dark hair, Always dirty, broken sword..."  
"Oh, The Dunedan."  
"Whatever, anyway..."  
As Frodo told his story with a few corrections from Sam and Merry, but  
all pippin did was hinder the progress. As the story progressed Frodo  
told Al about The Barrow Wrights, and Bombidil's forest etc.  
********************************************************************  
*Still with the Hobbits 3 hours later Frodo still talking*  
Please someone help me and get me out of here  
Al thought as Frodo unaware that Merry and Pippin had sneaked off and  
Sam was falling asleep as was Bilbo.  
Any time now  
A single clear bell rang out  
Saved by the bell  
"What was that?" Said Frodo.  
"The warning bell for the counsel, little dude."  
"Argh, Don't call me 'little dude'!"  
"Fine, Midget."  
Frodo was about to object to the names I was calling when he caught sight  
of the counsel and decided to appear to be more grown up than he actually  
was. Frodo was seated next to Bilbo, who was next to Gandalf. The Elves  
in attendance were Legolas, Gorfindel, Galdor and Elf from the Gray  
havens, and several other counsellors of Elrond's household of which  
Erestor was chief. Again I was seated next to Legolas and also Gorfindel.  
Then were Gloin and Gloin's son Gimli and then the Men which consisted of  
Boromir, son of Denthor and Aragorn, who had for once had a bath and was  
clothed in green velvet. As Elrond spoke of what happened to the Ring,  
my gaze wandered because I had heard this story enough times already. My  
eyes came to rest on a hobbit. Samwise Gamgee.  
What are you doing? I don't remember you being summoned to this secret  
counsel of Elrond.  
Sam visibly squirmed, uncomforted by the fact he had been noticed in the  
bush that he was hiding in and Al could clearly see that he was trying  
frantically to tell her not to tell anyone.  
It's ok, I won't tell anyone.  
"Bring out the ring, Frodo Baggins."  
Her attention snapped back to the counsel like a stretched rubber band  
that had been let go. It was a beautifully made ring, Though Evil. As  
the counsel continued they spoke of many things; Isildur's Bane, What  
really happened between Bilbo and Gollum, what the one ring says;  
  
How the ring came to Frodo, that Gollum had escaped from the Mirkwood  
Elves Prison, Why Gandalf was late and didn't meet the hobbits at Bree,  
what Saruman, What to do with the Ring.  
  
Chapter 6  
At length they decided that they must cast it back into the Fiery Chasm  
of whence it came and that they would choose a small number to do this.  
Frodo decided he would be the Ring bearer.  
"Hey! Mr Frodo's not goin' anywhere without me!" Sam had decided to make  
himself known.  
"No indeed, it hardly possible you, even when he is summoned to a secret  
counsel and you are not." Said Elrond with a smile playing on his lips.  
So to represent the Hobbits Frodo and Sam were chosen or rather wanted to  
go. Gandalf decided he would go along. For the Dwarves Gimli was  
chosen. For the men, Aragorn and Boromir were chosen and for the Elves  
Legolas was chosen. Al was not impressed.  
"Why can't I go too?!"  
She said indignantly as storm clouds immediately began to brew in the  
background.  
"Oi, we're coming too!" Shouted Pippin as he and Merry ran up the steps  
"You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us!"  
"Anyway you need people of intelligence on this sort of  
Mission...Quest...Thing."  
"Well, that rules you out Pip."  
"HEY! If Al gets to go why can't I!"  
Said Anna-Arien as she sprinted up the steps. Anna was Al's best friend  
and identical twin at Rivendell, and their favourite thing to do was play  
practical jokes on anyone but especially the twins because of the  
Practical joke war that was being waged at the moment. The storm clouds  
in the back ground grew bigger. Elrond looked at the sky than at Al than  
to Anna and back to the sky.  
"Fine."  
"Yeah!"  
"Alright, Cuba!"  
"Been future seeing again."  
"Yeah, How did ya know?"  
"You're not the only one who can read minds, Al."  
"Oh, here's a test, what am I thinking now?"  
"You're trying to think of something to test me with."  
"Damn you, Anna."  
Anna just smiled cheekily.  
Al and Anna turned back to Elrond as one.  
"Well, can we go and eat now?"  
"Unimpressed."  
After Elrond regained his composure a bit he said;  
"Eleven companions... So be it, you will be the fellow ship of the ring."  
"Great, where are we going?" said Pippin.  
"Ohhh." Groaned Sam  
"Breath Deeply, Count to ten...one...two...three..."Said Frodo trying to calm  
down  
"What's he doing?" Said Pippin  
"Kill!" Yelled Frodo.  
  
Chapter 7  
As the journey neared closer Al and Anna spent much of their time  
exchanging Practical jokes between themselves and the twins and wandering  
in the woods. The hobbits also spent time in the woods, smoking and  
talking amongst themselves. Boromir spent a lot of time doing nothing,  
as did Gimli and Gandalf. But Aragorn and Arwen Spent a lot of time  
together, Even though the girls really Didn't know what Arwen saw in that  
Dirty Man who probably hadn't had a bath except the one we gave  
yesterday, A bucket over the door job. The few days they had left were  
soon spent; it wasn't long before they set out on the journey.  
********************************************************************  
Al and Anna walked mainly with Legolas or the hobbits (they wanted to  
talk to Pippin about how best to Annoy Gandalf and Aragorn) but sometimes  
they followed Aragorn just to annoy him. As the journey progressed they  
made camp in the hills and, as Merry and Pippin learned how to fight,  
aided by Aragorn and Boromir, the other hobbits were cooking food. The  
Elves were sitting and talking, while Gandalf just sat, and thought. He  
seemed to be doing a lot of that recently. Just then Al decided she and  
Anna should take it into their own hands to cheer him up. Legolas didn't  
agree.  
"I really don't think you should do that, the last time someone tried  
that he pinned him to a rock."  
"But he wouldn't do that to us"  
And before Legolas could stop them they walked over to Gandalf.  
"Aragorn, what's that in the distance?" asked Sam,  
When he said this all three elves jumped up on to the rocks and looked  
into the distance,  
Gimli, who had been sitting on a rock, answered,  
"Nothing, just a wisp of cloud."  
"It's Moving Fast" said Boromir  
"Against the wind," Said Aragorn.  
"Crebain!" Shouted Legolas, alarmed.  
"From Dunland!" Al added.  
Gandalf finally showed some life;  
"Hide! Douse the fire, take everything into hiding with you!" He shouted.  
Al, Anna and Legolas dived under a rock, and Aragorn, Frodo and Sam ran  
behind a bush. Everyone watched in silence as Crebain flew past. When  
they had passed Al and Anna crawled out from under the rock, followed by  
Legolas, who wanted to try and stop them if they tried to 'cheer up'  
Gandalf. Nothing happened.  
"We have been too slack, and have not set guard. Those were Crebain,  
messengers of Saruman, Hollin is being watched." Said Gandalf  
"Gandalf, we could go through the Mines of Moria, my cousin Balin would  
give us a royal welcome."  
"Then we must travel by nightfall, make no fire and make for the mountain  
pass of Caradhras by nightfall."  
  
Chapter 8  
*On Caradhras*  
"Al, Anna, Stop nancing around! You're annoying me!"  
"Ohh, so mister high and mighty is getting pinged off is he?" Said Al  
tauntingly as she and Anna pranced around on the snow, pinging everyone  
off.  
"Legolas, can't you get them to stop?!" Shouted Boromir  
"What was that?" said Legolas, who had been taking lessons on how to  
annoy people, but especially Boromir, whom he had never liked but the  
intense dislike had increased since he called Aragorn a 'mere ranger'.  
"I can't hear you."  
"Gandalf!"  
"STOP ANNOYING EVERYONE AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL!!!!!!"  
"Alright, Alright. Calm down, mate. No need to Fuss."  
The wind suddenly picked up and it started snowing, fast and thick.  
"Great, a blizzard, just what we need." Anna muttered to Al.  
A avalanche of rocks, ice and snow broke off from the top of the pass.  
"Saruman!"  
"He's trying to bring down the mountain, Gandalf we must turn back!"  
"No, not yet."  
"Come on, Gandalf! We're going to turn back anyway" yelled Al  
"How do you know?"  
"Because she can see into the future." Said Anna backing Al up.  
"Only I can do that,"  
"No I can too."  
"Can not"  
"Can too"  
"Can not"  
"Can too"  
"Oh, just shut up the pair of you." said Aragorn as everyone but the  
Elves got buried in Snow, because the elves had been smart enough to get  
out of the way.  
"Gandalf, we could go through the Mines of Moria, my cousin Balin would  
give us a royal welcome."  
"No, Gimli. I would not go through the mines unless I had no other  
choice."  
"Fine." Said Gimli and sulked as the fellowship began to struggle up the  
mountain again.  
  
Chapter 9  
When they finally stoped for a breather 


End file.
